LOVE IS STRANGE (2014)
Directed by Ira Sachs
Sony Classics, 94
minutes, R (for pathetic and idiotic reasons)
* ½
 |
| Actually, in this film it's distressingly ordinary! |
Love Is Strange is
a movie with its heart in the right place. Alas, every other part is as
misplaced as a storage cube packed by drunken movers. It is, simply, a lousy movie
poorly directed by Ira Sachs and badly written by he and Mauricio Zacharias.
The setup is that Ben (John Lithgow) and George (Alfred
Molina) decide to tie the matrimonial knot after 39 years of cohabitation. A
crisis emerges when their marriage catches the attention of the bishop who oversees the tony private Catholic school where George teaches music and
demands George's dismissal. This means that he and George must sell the condo in
which they've lived for decades. Script problem # 1: In what has to be the
fastest real estate closing in history, they have to move out immediately and
have nowhere to go. Script problem # 2: Who knew that private school music
teachers made enough bread to afford such a lovely apartment in Manhattan?
With no income other than George's pension, the couple is
temporarily homeless and the only place in which they could live together is
with dippy New Age friend Mindy (Christina Kirk in a cringe-worthy dumb role)
in Poughkeepsie. That's not happening because, well don't you know, gay men
just don't live outside of New York. Call that script problem # 3. Instead, the
newlyweds must separate. Ben moves in with his nephew, Elliot (Darren Barrows),
who does something or other in film; his uptight novelist wife Kate (Marissa
Tomei); and their son, Joey (CharlieTahan). While Ben snoozes in the bottom
bunk of Joey's room, George crashes on the couch of two gay cop friends, Ted
(Cheyenne Jackson) and Roberto (Manny Perez), whose cramped apartment is filled
with partiers and voguers. Script problem # 4: Gay cops? What is this, The
Village People?
I think you begin to see the problems. Script problem # 5:
Lithgow and Molina are older actors who are better known for their work on the
boards than on the screen. Few young people know who they are and fewer still
will want to see this film. Fine. Lord knows we need more adult entertainment,
but if you're going this route, don't write a light rom-com-meets-lame farce for
20-somethings. Give us something frothier than a frappuccino with extra cool
whip. And don't telegraph what will/must happen with set-ups so obvious
Inspector Clouseau wouldn't need to bumble upon the solutions. Don't pad the
movie with subplots that go nowhere, and for heaven's sake don't try to imbue
Marisa Tomei with anything resembling gravitas. Script problem # 6: While
you're at it, if George must be a music teacher, have him love something other
than Chopin. Chopin was a great composer, but with a script this leaden you
don't want dreamy music suggestive of naptime.
Some critics have called the performances of Lithgow and Molina "courageous." Really? Did I miss something? Did
the calendar roll back to 1984? Each is perfectly competent, but nothing more.
In life they are great friends and these roles seemed little more taxing than a
walk through for each. They are, however, head and shoulders above the rest of
the cast who, with the exception of young Tahan, seems to have been chosen
because they fit the bill for character cutouts devoid of depth.
Need further proof of this film's shopworn nature? It's
rated R. For gay snogging? Nope. Lithgow and Molina share about half a dozen
chaste kisses and there are a few F-bombs, but that's as salacious as things
get. All of which is to say, this film got an R simply because it's about a gay
couple. Script problem # 7 through infinity: If you want to promote
inclusivity, don't make a film that perpetuates every idiotic stereotype in the
book. Were it not for the fact that Lithgow and Molina are so talented that
their walk-throughs are better than the histrionics of most, this would be one
of the worst dogs of 2014. As is, it's just a bad move that deserves to be
quickly forgotten. –Rob Weir
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